So I knew I had been a slacker about posting anything here for a while but seriously I had no idea it had been that long. Feb? Wha???
I’m trying to figure out what happened there, but at the same time it’s not that surprising. Life in general just sort of exploded. First there was the biggest meeting of the year at work, then Spring Break, then Easter then catching up from you know the biggest meeting of the year and then Spring Break and Easter.
That combo sort of blew up my March I guess. I’m not the kind of person who recovers quickly when my routine is broken. If I’m not careful it short of spirals me out of into the depths of confusion even more. Everything sort of spins out of control.
It didn’t help that in the midst of that I was in heavy FCAT prep mode with Puddin’. Every year we seem to go through this were she need extra work in some area or another and it always works out fine but I’ve come to know she’s going to be one of those kids who needs plenty of prep for these types of tests. She will not be the type to roll out of bed and head over to the SATs without lots of preparation.
But FCATS started this week so there’s little to nothing left to do about that and all the house guests are gone and we have no trips notable scheduled for at least a month so yesterday was the first day I felt – lighter. More in control. More able to get things done. I think I feel to-do lists like some people feel depression pressing on them. It overwhelms me to the point where I can’t even start. The the house is a wreck, the bills aren’t paid, there’s no food in the kitchen and I can’t figure out where to start of how to get caught up. Maybe that’s just it, maybe for me depression manifests itself as a fairly severe case of procrastination. Given what I know about me and our situation and our life in general that sort of makes sense. (Also I only clean, really clean, when I’m angry and hurt – I understand the story there too but it’s not one for sharing today)
I think the biggest thing is feeling like there is actually free time. And Saturday I have free time. I have no “obligation” – sure there are things to do, but no where I have to be, at any certain time. Nothing is planned other than loosely in my head.
The very notion of that has be walking 2 inches higher this week.
So here is a list of things I got done yesterday and today:
- Figured out that part of the problem with the pool was all the jets were clogged with dirt leaving only the first one open. Cleaned them out. Worked on cleaning up the pool a bit.
- Actually got the mail from the mailbox. (Yes that’s a big deal for me)
- Cleaned up desk
- Paid Bills
- Pool Guy came and repaired the motor so that it doesn’t sound like a stump grinder
- Put sticker on car tag – wait that should be hunted down and FOUND sticker to put on car tag.